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Q: I am being harassed by a male neighbor (about 45 years old). I live alone and am 55 years old. Where can I get information on protecting myself. Lately he has left garbage in front of my door and has made repeated calls to my home. I have contacted the police but there's not much I can do except file complaints. My building won't let me out of my lease (NYC). Where can seek help? Please put me on your mailing list and thanks for your help. A: I know how frightening and frustrating a situation like this can be. I would suggest that you treat this man as you should a stalker. I recommend that you COMPLETELY disengage from him in everyway possible. Do not answer your phone, let the message machine take it. Do not confront the man. Make every attempt to avoid contact with him whatsoever. Avoid the temptation to have a male relative or friend contact this man to "persuade" him to leave you alone. This is often the kind of event that can trigger even more aggressive behaviors in stalkers. Also, file a complaint with the building and the cops for every situation in which this guy harasses you or threatens you. You need to establish a record of his misbehavior. Police departments also track "Calls for Service" to see where patterns of crime are evolving. Eventually, the weight of complaints tends to attract attention and something will be done. Although you say you cannot get out of your lease, ultimately, your best option will probably be to move away from someone like this. Unfortunately, people like this are not reasonable, they are disturbed and you will not make any headway with him. Good luck. Brad Parker |
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