Q: My girlfriend works late nights. One of her competitor’s is harassing her and threatening her with physical harm. My girl is 4'8" and she is scared of this other women. The business she is in IS LEGAL and she is licensed to work down on the waterfront. She works alone. She called the police and reported an incident last night in which she was threatened. She is going to take a restraining order out against her but what can she do, when confronted by the other person, before the police arrive? She has to walk to her car in an outside parking lot and she's afraid of being beaten up. Thanks for your help.

A: In an overall scheme of self-protection I subscribe to the three ‘P’s: Psychological, Proximal, and Physical.

Under the heading of Psychological, your girlfriend is on the right track, this is a head game at this point. There has been no physical violence at this time, right? Fight back psychologically by getting more allies on your side. Your girlfriend should let other people know of the problem. Get the order of protection, continue to report suspicious or threatening behavior. Let the perpetrator know they WILL be caught if they continue. Despite her fear, your friend has to let the opponent know that she will continue to do her legal job and any attempts at intimidation will not stop her. She might consider carrying a pocket tape recorder (like the kind used for dictation) to tape any threatening remarks. Have her carry a cell phone to call in any situations. I have used a video camera to good effect…the bad guys HATE to be captured on tape doing their deeds.

The Proximal section refers to the use of barriers and obstacles for self-protection. Usually this is in the form of secure homes, estates and cars, but it also refers to the control of the space around you. Can your girlfriend’s hours be altered? Can her meetings take place in another venue? You might also consider having someone escort her on her rounds. Even if the escort is another woman, two people make for a considerably harder target than a single person. This person can also act as a witness to any further threats. Because of your girlfriend’s small stature, you should assume that she would not be able to withstand much force in the case of a physical assault. I would advise her to retreat to her car at any sign of trouble. If she is blocked from going to her car, she should retreat back to the building in which she came. The basic strategy here is to effectively use physical barriers and space between her and her competitor.

Finally, the Physical section. This is the section in which I teach the responses and techniques to counter actual physical attacks. Again, because of her small size, I would assume that virtually ANYONE will be bigger and stronger. I am also assuming that she does not have any kind of martial arts training or combat sports training. I hate to tell you here, she will not be able to learn how to fight in the next week or two. However, since she works alone at night (and sometimes on the waterfront) perhaps she should look into some self-defense training. I am a big advocate of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as a viable style for women. You might look into Krav Maga. In any event, tell your girlfriend to keep her distance and always, always protect her head. Use your strongest weapons (elbows, knees, kicks) against the weakest targets (knees, groin, solar plexus, throat/neck, face, temples, base of skull).

You should also consider weapons. Since you used the term "waterfront", I am assuming that you are on the East Coast and therefore have serious restrictions on the possession and use of weapons. Unfortunately, these restrictions end up hurting citizens such as your girlfriend.

The rule of thumb is to use a weapon against another weapon, multiple attackers or when the "disparity of force" so great that you are facing a lethal attack. At the very least, carry pepper spray (there is a special article on using chemical sprays on www.defendu.com). For my impact weapon, I carry an expandable baton or a C-cell Maglight (the heavy metal police flashlight). Some people I work with have had good success with training women with knives. I have not had that success and usually don’t recommend knives for women. However, the small Spyderco Clipit knives have proven themselves as viable backup weapons on more than a few occasions. Because I am a Westerner, I usually advocate using handguns as the weapon of choice for women. They are compact, relatively easy to learn and powerful enough to negate deadly attacks. Stay away from some of the gimmicky "weapons" like the spiked Ninja key ring or the sword in the cane.

Always stay within the legal guidelines for your weapons and resist any temptation to "get" the other woman or launch a preemptive strike. Remember, we are the good guys here.

Of course, there is another solution -- have her change jobs and find something less risky.