Q:  How can i learn to control my fear when suddenly confronted by an attacker? i have some training in the martial arts but when attacked, i freeze up, stop breathing and feel my heart beating in my mouth. should i be deep breathing as i walk or repeating some mantra or something? is there any way to learn how to be braver?

A: You might not have a “real” problem here.

What? Hang on and hear me out.

You might be MISINTERPRETING what you feel as “fear”. Geoff Thompson has a fantastic outlook on this (check out any of his books) as he thought he was a coward for many years because he always felt “fear” before a fight. (These were real streetfights by the way since he worked as a professional bouncer, not sport fights or cage matches). His theory is that the huge adrenaline dump into your body and its symptoms e.g. butterflies, queasy stomach, wooden feeling limbs, dry mouth, rapid breathing, is mistakenly identified as fear. In reality you are getting ready for combat.

Okay, does that make you feel a little better about your problem? It should, you are not alone, many good fighters confess that they feel scared BEFORE a fight. The good thing is that most of them are not scared when they are IN the fight.

I would attack your problem in three main chunks; repetition, confidence and mindset.

Repetition

You might “freeze up” simply because you are being exposed to stimuli that is unfamiliar to you. I don't know what level of student you are, but you are probably in the stage where your mind needs to search for the correct response. You might not be freezing up because of fear, but because of inexperience.

Repetition answers all questions. Go to class, train. Go to class again, train some more. Keep going. Keep training.

After you’ve been “attacked” for a number of years, the attack by the amateur on the street often seems clumsy and almost comical.

Confidence

The first thing I would ask of you is to sit down and seriously consider how much confidence you have in the style in which you are training. Be honest with yourself. Do you really believe your instructor and your style are comprehensive enough? Or is there a bit of a nagging doubt whether or not you can make this work on the street. I don’t really care what style you are in, you have to have the confidence that it will work for you. Sadly some dojos won’t give this to you.

You should also have confidence in your ability to deliver force. Hit a heavy bag. Hit a makiwara. Spar. Work on your speed.

Have confidence in your ability to evade or absorb force. Spar. Work with a medicine ball. Lift weights. Practice your footwork. Do your 1- and 3-step sparring.

Visualization

Use your intelligence to your advantage. Develop the mindset that you will survive anything. Meditate and see yourself in a number of situations, always responding swiftly, confidently and correctly and always finish with a victory. (Be careful here, it seems difficult to do this if you don't have the confidence that you KNOW you will win. Ironically, this gets easier after you develop a level of skill and toughness and you probably don't need it as much as you did when you first started).

Use classical conditioning and NLP to attach positive feelings and responses to certain stimuli. For example, I trained myself to feel calm and confident every time I assume my fighting stance. Over the years it has gotten to the point where it actually feels good to take up my stance. I do the same thing when I shoot. I do relaxation exercises and play classical music while I concentrate on my front sight. Now when I see my front sight, I can feel my body get a relaxed response – even when I am under pressure to perform well.

Finally, KEEP TRAINING! The more you train, the more skillful you become, the more skillful you become, the more confident you become, the more confident you become, the more powerful you become.

Good luck,

Brad Parker